350+ Funny Dirty Jokes to Make You Blush and LOL

There are two types of people in the world: those who love funny dirty jokes and those who are lying. Let’s be real—sometimes, a well-timed, raunchy joke is the perfect way to break the ice, lighten the mood, or share a guilty chuckle with friends. This ain’t the Christian Gazette! You’re in the right place for a no-holds-barred laugh fest .

We’ve scoured the corners of the internet to compile a collection of wildly inappropriate, hilarious, and downright clever adult jokes that are circulating in 2025. Consider this your one-stop shop for humor that’s a little bit naughty and a whole lot of funny. So, get comfortable, and let’s dive into the jokes you definitely shouldn’t tell at your next family dinner.

Why Dirty Jokes Are the Best Kind of Jokes

Before we get to the good stuff, let’s acknowledge the universal appeal of a funny dirty joke. This type of humor connects us through shared, relatable experiences about life, relationships, and our own bodies. A great risqué joke is like a beautifully crafted puzzle—it uses wit, misdirection, and a touch of tabooness to deliver a payoff that makes you laugh, groan, and maybe look over your shoulder to see who’s listening. They’re the jokes you remember and retell, creating moments of genuine connection and laughter among friends who are in on the fun .

Funny Dirty Jokes Based on Pop Culture

Pop culture gives us a fantastic playground for funny dirty jokes. These gags are extra hilarious when you’re familiar with the source material.

Why did Ethan Hunt break up with his girlfriend? Because every time she said, “This mission is getting hard,” he replied, “I accept it.”
Why did Gru’s date leave disappointed? Because she expected a mastermind but got a minion’s performance .
Why did Playboi Carti’s partner complain about their love life? Because he kept repeating the same track and never reached the climax .
Why did Elphaba refuse to date Fiyero? Because she heard he had a wand that couldn’t cast a lasting spell .
What’s the best thing about dating a palindrome? It’s the same forwards and backwards.

Short and Punchy Dirty Jokes

Sometimes, you don’t need a long story. These one-liners and quick adult jokes deliver a rapid-fire laugh.

What’s the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I’ve never paid to have a garbanzo bean on my face .
What does a perverted frog say? “Rubbit.”
What comes after 69? Mouthwash .
What are the three shortest words in the English language? “Is it in?”
I was at the dentist… He said, “This might sting a little. Are you prepared?” I said, “Yes.” He then said, “I am sleeping with your wife.”
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off .
What did the O say to the Q? “Dude, your dick’s hanging out.”

Dirty Jokes for Him

This collection of funny dirty jokes plays on classic masculine tropes and anatomy with a wink and a nudge.

Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? He only comes once a year .
Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals .
What do you call an expert fisherman? A master baiter .
Why did the squirrel swim on its back? To keep its nuts dry .
My neighbor is mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence .
What’s long and hard and full of semen? A submarine .
A man walks into his psychiatrist’s appointment wearing nothing but cling film. The psychiatrist takes one look at him and says, “well I can clearly see your nuts.”

Dirty Jokes for Her

These inappropriate jokes offer a humorous take on relationships and female experiences, often flipping the script.

I asked my wife if sex is a chore to her. “Not really,” she replied. “Chores make me feel satisfied afterwards.”
How can you tell if your husband is dead? The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote .
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? “If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.”
A woman walks out of the bathroom and winks at her husband, “I shaved down there; you know what that means.” The husband responds, “Yeah, the drain is clogged.”
What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball .
Why is Mrs. Claus unsatisfied with Santa? He only comes once a year .

Raunchy Adult Sex Jokes

Brace yourself. This section is where we get into the truly NSFW adult sex jokes that leave nothing to the imagination.

A couple on their first date go back to his place. The girl says, “I can tell if we’re compatible by how he opens the door. If he busts it open, he’s selfish. If he drops the keys, he’s inexperienced. So how will you open it?” The guy says, “I’ll just lick the lock first if you don’t mind.”
A vagina is like the weather. Once it’s wet, it’s time to go inside .
They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running eight miles. Who the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds?
A husband says to his wife, “Why don’t you tell me when you orgasm?” She replies, “I don’t like calling you when you’re at work.”
Wife: “I can’t believe you went to a sex worker!” Husband: “What did you expect? We haven’t done anything for months…” Wife: “You could have told me you were willing to pay.”
What’s the difference between oral and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak .

Inappropriately Hilarious Situations

Some of the best funny dirty jokes come from absurd and awkward situations. These narrative gems build up to a hilarious punchline.

A customer walks up to a GNC employee: “There’s a man over there sticking his penis in a container of protein powder!” The employee looks over and yells, “No fucking whey!”
A man goes to the doctor. “Doctor! I have five penises!” Doctor says, “My God, how do your pants fit?” Man says, “Like a glove!”
A woman buys a bargain parrot that used to live in a brothel. When she gets home, it says, “Fuck me, a new brothel!” When her daughters get home, it says, “Fuck me, two new prozzies!” When her husband gets home, the parrot says, “Fuck me, Pete. Haven’t seen you for weeks!”
A 17-year-old boy buys two packs of condoms from a clerk, bragging he might get lucky with his girlfriend and her “smoking hot” mom. At dinner, he’s quiet until his girlfriend complains. He replies, “And if I’d known your dad worked at a drug store, I wouldn’t have come.”
A young woman on a flight asks a priest to hide an expensive hair dryer under his robes to avoid customs. He agrees but won’t lie. When asked if he has anything to declare, he says, “From my head to my waist, nothing. From my waist down, I have a marvelous instrument designed for a woman, which is, to date, unused.” The customs official laughs and waves him through .

Dad Jokes That took a Dirty Turn

These jokes have the cheesy setup of a classic dad joke but end with a surprisingly risqué punchline, making them perfect funny dirty jokes for those who appreciate a good groan.

What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year .
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? He forgot to wrap his Whopper .
Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning .
What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth? A glad-he-ate-her .
Let’s play carpenter! First, we’ll get hammered, then I’ll nail you .
My wife asked me to spoon in bed, but I’d rather fork .

How to Tell a Dirty Joke Without Offending Everyone

Knowing a bunch of funny dirty jokes is one thing; knowing when to tell them is another. The golden rule is audience awareness. Gauge the crowd before you launch into your best material. A night out with close friends? Probably safe. A corporate team-building event? Maybe hold off. The best adult jokes are told in an environment where everyone is comfortable and consenting to the level of humor. Remember, the goal is shared laughter, not making someone feel awkward or offended .

Conclusion: Your Turn to Share the Laughs 😜

And there you have it—a massive collection of funny dirty jokes to add to your repertoire. From quick one-liners to elaborate stories, this type of humor is a testament to our shared human experiences and our ability to laugh at ourselves. The right joke, told at the right time, can be an instant mood-lifter.

Did we miss your favorite off-color joke? The world of raunchy humor is vast and always evolving. The best funny dirty jokes are often the ones passed around by word of mouth, so feel free to share these and keep the cycle of laughter going!